If You Really Knew Me...

I've been following two blogs, tellingdad.com and mommyjenna.com.  Both have posted a list of 48 questions with their answers (although Greg from tellingdad has only done the first so far).  I like the idea of the list and thinking about myself from a different perspective.

That said, I thought I'd take a shot at the list.  So, for your reading pleasure, here are the 48 questions and the answers according to Bitter Beth:

48 Things You Never Knew About Me

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, if you consider literary characters to be someone.  I was named after the character Beth in the book Little Women.  My mom loved the name and chose to call me Beth, not Elizabeth.  The reason, I have three older brothers who certainly have called me "Lizard."
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last Wednesday.  My son is in 7th grade and his school sponsored Challenge Day.  It is an amazing day-long program that uses adult facilitators working with a small group of students.  It starts with cheering and fun and then funnels into some deep discussion about feelings. After many hours full of laughter and tears, it was amazing to hear what these children challenge each other to - standing up to bullies and putting an end to racism were just two of the challenges we were given.  What a gift.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I love my handwriting.  I always loved my mom's beautiful handwriting and practiced long and hard to have handwriting in the same class as her handwriting.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Salami
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes. Maxwell
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.  If not then I would not like the person I was....
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Yes. I could not communicate without being snarky
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No, that would be to much out of my control.  Being a control freak that would just push me over the edge (no pun intended)
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
If you'd have asked in the 70's it would have been BooBerry.  If I were to eat cereal today, I am ambivalent -   probably Chex of some sort.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, I am too lazy
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I never used to but then I went through my divorce.  From that experience I now know I can face anything that life has to hand me
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Vanilla
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Personality and sense of humor.
15. RED OR PINK?
Red.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My weight.  I hate the way it makes me feel and the lack of energy.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Mom.  I lost her when I was 16, and lament the fact that she never met my son.
18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
With my dirty mind, you know where I went with this.  However, the clean response would be my cooking technique is non-existent.  And I hate to cook....
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black, electric blue and gray tennis shoes
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Omelette.  It's Omelette day in the cafeteria.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A conference call.  I suppose I should pay attention!!
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Blue
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Lavendar
24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?
They are important to me, but I keep them somewhat to myself.
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Baseball
27. HAIR COLOR? 
Brown with red highlights
28. EYE COLOR?
Hazel
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I was never able to, so I finally got Lasix a couple of years ago.  Best money I ever spent
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Macaroni and Cheese or Mashed Potatoes with Gravy.  I am a Carb and Fat girl
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary Movies.  I love to get creeped out!
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Warm Bodies - Zombies rock!!!
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Teal and black.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter because I cannot stand to be hot and humidity is the devil!
35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Creme Brulee
36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Neither, but I suppose if I have to choose it would be strength training - I only run if someone is chasing me with a knife
37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Television, but what's better is television shows on the computer (I am addicted to Netflix and Amazon streaming of TV series)
38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Rereading The Shining in anticipation of the sequel due later this year.
39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
My work calendar
40. FAVORITE SOUND?
Laughter
41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?
Alt Rock, although Classic Rock is not far behind
42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Washington State, Oregon, Cancun or Barbados.  Not sure which is the farthest
43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Making people laugh
44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Akron, Ohio
45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Orange Village, Ohio
46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
Brick with Taupe siding and a Red hued trim
47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
Black
48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?
You betcha.  It made me think!

Let me know if you answer these - I would love to see what others say!

Not a Creature Was Stirring - Except for the Mouse...

This belongs in the category of "This Could Only Happen to Me!"  Picture this, Christmas dawns bright and gay - little tree is lighted and there is snow on the ground.  All is well in the world.  We unwrap presents with hugs and thanks and then my son and I go back to our separate electronics.  He was killing aliens (Halo) and zombies (Dead Island & Left 4 Dead) and I was reading a book on my eReader. 

My Brother, his wife and two kids, along with the family dog arrive for Christmas dinner.  We eat and then watch a movie together.  Because the big brown dog loves kitties, but the kitties don't love him back, the cats are locked up in my son's room with their essentials. 

Bed time - My brother and sis-in-law get my room, I get my son's room with the cats and the kids grab some carpet/couch in the family room.  As I am getting ready for bed, I notice the cats staring under some furniture.  Odd.  Then - THEN - A FREAKING FIELD MOUSE RUNS OUT.  EEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!  Holy Crap!!!  I scream for my brother.  He's unimpressed and says the cats will kill it.  True (maybe), but that thing could be nibbling on my feet while I sleep.  Ugh. 

While all of this was going on, I was trying to make sure my sister-in-law didn't know - she is deathly afraid of "Meeses."  At this point my nephew figured it would be a good idea to tell him mom about the mouse.  More hysteria ensues.  I finally told her that there was no mouse and that I just saw a sock.  Like she believed that - but at least she calmed down.

So then I got the big, heavy flashlight out, locked myself, the two lazy cats and the uninvited mouse in the room together.  I knew I couldn't sleep so, with the flashlight on and the ceiling light in the room on I tried to read.  The mouse had other ideas.  He ran across the floor while the cats watched.  He climbed the closet door while the cats watched.  he poked his head out of the curtains while the cats watched.  He climbed on the bedside table while the cats watched.  At that point I hit the bugger on the head with the flashlight.  He scampered, but came right back up the bedside table.  I hit him again.  This game of wack-a-mole went on a few more times before he finally figured out that maybe the bedside table wasn't a good option. 

I tried to get the cats engaged in the hunt by highlighting the mouses progress with the flashlight.  No dice.  Lazy boy cats suck!  Finally around 3:30 in the morning, I fell asleep with the light on and the flashlight burning.  Next thing I know, the younger cat, Finn, woke me up doing something on the bedside table.  Then I heard a plop of something hitting the floor.  The mouse was in his death throws.  Since there was no blood, I don't know if Finn licked him to death, if the prior round of wack-a-mole worked, if the cat broke his tiny legs or if he had a heart attack.  Regardless, the end was near an I had had enough.  I went out to the living room and read.  Thirty minutes later I went back in and the mouse was dead.  DING DONG THE MOUSE IS DEAD!!!!!!

I was completely skeezed out by the dead mouse, but put my big girl panties on and took it out to the garbage can.  By this time it is 6:30 and I had to work.  Lucky me!

In any case, as I stated before, this crap could only happen to me!!  Oh and just so you know, I am getting an exterminator as soon as possible!!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

Happy Holidays! 

Overall I am not a huge fan of the holidays - I hate shopping, I don't like feeling forced to buy gifts and, if you couldn't tell from the name of the blog, I am a bit bitter.  Still, with an 12-year-old son, some compromises must be made.

Due to the damage from Sandy (I live in Cleveland - how did I manage to get for hurricane damage?!?  Most bizarre weather I've ever seen!  The perks of living in the midwest should be - 1. no hurricanes and 2. small earthquakes.  Whatevs.), I decided not to put up the big, fake tree and opted instead for a cheap, pre-lighted, 4-foot fake tree.  With cheap ornaments.  I saved time on the front end and on the back.  I did this because when the restoration company comes to fix the ceiling and repaint, we would not have to worry about moving the tree.  At least that is what I told my son - he is not happy with me.  Oh well, at least he is getting presents!

To make myself have a little holiday cheer - I put a Santa hat on my two cats:

Finn the Grinch

Seamus Santa Claws

 

So at this point none of the boys in my house are happy with me, but I am vastly amused.  As a result of these pictures, a friend bought me the book How to tell if your Cat is plotting to kill you.  Funny Awesomeness and quite applicable now that I have further emasculated these two.

 

Another thing from my holiday travels - I was recently in a small town in east central Ohio.  Apparently, they thought Dickensian figures randomly placed in the downtown area was a proper salute to the holiday season.  I beg to differ.  A group of "carolers" standing in a rainstorm wearing victorian clothing was just downright creepy.  Below is a random character with friends.

 

Creepy, No?     



Well enough of my strangeness.  Have a safe and happy holiday!

Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Fall...

I work in downtown Cleveland and have to walk from my parking deck to Key Tower, the building where I work.  It is not a bad walk - Just a few blocks north through Public Square and it is quite nice during Christmas (this is where the downtown scenes for the movie A Christmas Story were filmed). 

One day in early April of this year, I was hurrying to my car after a late conference call.  Knowing that some of the sidewalks are heaved up and uneven, I am fairly careful to pay attention where I step.  This day I was in such a rush that I tripped on a part of the sidewalk that was heaved up.  I fell along with the laptop messenger bag and my other bag of crap that I carry.  I fell on my hands and knees so hard that I broke my left elbow.  Good Times!  No excuse other than I am just not terribly graceful. 

With the help of other passers by, I managed to get back on my feet and then finished walking to my car.  About half way home, I was in a lot of pain, but never having broken a bone before I was unsure if it was broken or not.  Since it was after 5 and I did not want to go to an urgent care (as it might not be covered by insurance), I took some Advil and decided to call the doctor the next morning.  The long and the short of it is that it took me two full days to go to an orthopedist who could treat me (went to primary care who did not have the tools to help me - got yelled at and told I should have gone to the urgent care).  I am a dingbat for sure!

The orthopedist put me in a brace that made me look like RoboCop - or RoboBeth as my co-workers called me.  After a month in the brace, 3 weeks in phyical therapy and several thousands of dollars out of pocket, I am right as rain!

The moral of this story - watch where you're headed or you could break something!  And as for me, I have the luck descibed in that old Hee Haw ditty: "If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all."

Note:  The sidewalk that tripped me - the city fixed it 5 month later.  Not only does my luck suck, my timing sucks, too!

The Amazing Brace, AKA RoboBeth

I'm Back....

So, it's been a while since I've written.  Since last February (not to put too fine a point on it).  I have a lot to say, just didn't have the time (really - just laziness).  I've decided that I need to start blogging again about the random crazy things that happen in my life.  I suspect the next few posts will be about things that have happened in the last few (10) months I've been away. While I gather my thoughts in preparation for my next few entries, Enjoy the holidays and hug your loved ones, especially in light of the last few weeks.

It Is Soooo Me....

I saw the card this morning:

http://www.avantipress.com/cards/avanti/everyday#id=55

I had to buy this for myself because this is totally me!  When I got back I had to do a little cut and paste to create my art project.  It is now hanging at my desk and I smile every time I look at it.  GO ME!!

A Few of My Favorite Things...

...OK, so I am only going to post my favorite things as they occur to me (and, unlike Oprah, there will be no give-aways).  Two of my favorite things are websites.  The first, PeopleofWalmart.com.  This is a snarky and often mean-spirited website that makes fun of the bizarre inhabitants of Walmart's the world over.  It is sort of like watching Jerry Springer, but without the moronic college cheering.  Second, is it's sister website, AkwardMessages.com.  Hilarious.  Things that people text or Facebook or whatever.  Too Funny.  One of my favorite examples is in the screen shot below:

It's all about making me laugh.